Change Is Expected, But Never Fun

And in this chapter there comes some.....adjustments....

Well, I've talked about Mirranda briefly and now I must talk about Sam.  Oh where, oh where do I begin.  We've officially deemed Sam our "hell child".  Suffice it to say that mom (yes, me) stumbled across some messages in her my space account on Friday night that had some very questionable language and some indications of behavior that is not appropriate at the age of 13.  And it's a really long story how I managed to log into her my space account (suffice it to say, iPod touches are marvelous things).    The behavior is more sexual in nature.  No, not the actual deed.  Just eluding to some touchy/feely stuff (uugh, I can't even come right out and talk about it in my blog because it gets me riled up) by a boy she was having a conversation with in her my space messages back in February.  Hmmm....February.....right around the time her grades dramatically dropped the first time.  I was extremely shocked and very upset.  Shawn and I discussed and needless to say we will be having a discussion with her the next time we see her which isn't until next Friday.  :(  The last 3 months we have only seen her two weekends out of the month because mom let her play softball (despite the shitty grades which is another post for another time).  Anyhow, we're trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that whatever he was eluding to was a joke or didn't happen however, these darn kids are so much more active at a younger age, it does make you wonder and worry. 

We never had to worry about this with Mirranda.  I know I've said this before, but I mean it when I say that Sammy is my drama queen. 

Mirranda and I were discussing this very fact yesterday.  When I pointed out that was perhaps what drove Mirranda nuts the most about her sister, you could see the dawning recognition blink on for her.  Mirranda doesn't have a lot of girlfriends because she cannot stand the drama.  Mirranda is not a dramatic girl...she doesn't need it nor thrives on it.  This is why most girls end up hating her and is why most of her friends are guys.  Waaaaay less drama!  I know Mirranda loves her sister, but Sam does some pretty stupid shit because she just does not stop to think before she speaks or acts and this pisses Mirranda off.  Mostly because when she tries to help Sam and make her aware of it, Sam verbally attacks her.  Mirranda is sick of her shit and just cannot stand her sister at this point in time. 

Sam thrives on drama!  She is the type of girl who, if she doesn't have any drama happening right at the moment, she will literally create it.  Uugh!!  This is the worst personality trait imaginable, if you ask me.  All her little friends are constantly in and out of friendship because of the drama.  And to make matters worse, there is cat fighting, name calling, labeling.....shit, you name it, she's been through it during her 7th grade year.  She had some choice words in a message to one of her girlfriends regarding how this individual wronged her at school.  It was quite lethal from a verbal stand point.  Yikes.....wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that.  And the little girl fought back telling Sam she was a frigged bitch and bipolar.  Um hello.....your fricking 13 year olds!!!  WTF?!  I wasn't like this at 13.

Anyhow, suffice to say, we have our work cut out for us.  The one thing Shawn and I have come to realize this weekend is that our youngest daughter is much more grown up than we'd given her credit for.  I think we've always thought of her as the baby and we got a rude awakening that she is no longer the baby.  We have been very concerned about her grades (and just her in general) over the last few months and we are even more so now than before.  We are highly concerned that if she is left with her mother, she is going to be left to run wild like she has been recently.  Christy is more worried about making sure there is harmony in her house than laying down the rules.  And when Sam starts fighting her, she caves and lets her do what she wants in order to keep the peace.  That is the one thing with Sam that Christy just can't afford to do because the damn kid will walk all over her (and pretty much already does).  Upon speaking with Mirranda, it does sound like there are certain friends of Sam's that she isn't allowed to hang with except at school where mom has no control which is good.  The other friends she is allowed to have over and go visit sound more positive, influence wise.  I hate to say it, but my youngest daughter, in all her dramatic ways, is a fricking slut magnet when it comes to her friends.  She somehow manages to become bosom buddies with the slutiest girls in school and I just don't get what it is about that element......it's got to be the drama that draws her to them. 

Shawn has been leaning on her heavily to come to school in our district.  I find myself hoping and praying these days that she decides to do exaclty that.  We'd have better control over what's going on with her and hopefully could lay down some good boundaries which she is currently not getting at moms.  I cannot wait until she is out of softball. 

Anyhow, I do love my baby girl very much which is why I worry about her so!!

    

And so another chapter begins...

My darling eldest daughter has been bitten by the love bug.  She is quite smitten (more so than she lets on, but I have access her myspace page where she has a beautiful call out written directly to him about how she feels about him....yes, the big "L" word is there in plain writing in addition to the other wonderful things she says about him).

His name is Compton and he's going into his Sophomore year like she is.  They've been together about 3 months (I believe they are about to hit 4).  I've even seen a pic she took of them kissing.  It was very touching (after I got passed the initial shock).  ;)  She went to his baseball game today.  We got to meet him and his mom, Ann. 

She's growing up so smart and so strong.  She has her own opinions, she is more impressed by someones personality & character (rather than all the things that are just surface crap), she's a pretty good judge of character and she can no longer be bribed by her mother.  On her my space page, she also talks about her heroes and has pics of her & Shawn, me with her (and Sammy) and then at the bottom there's a pic of her with her sister, her mom & James, her step dad.  Plus there's one of her & Compton.  It shows you what is important to her and that is her family and her boyfriend.  She's a well grounded kid.  She even informed her dad the other day (as he was giving her a modified wait to have sex lecture) that she might even wait until she was married.  I would love that, but I am also a realistic parent.  With her going between homes, it's hard to be on top of the time she is spending away from moms house.  She is smart enough to wait until she is ready (she will not allow herself to be pressured into anything she doesn't want to do), until she is very much in love and she is smart enough to use protection when that day comes.  My little girl is growing up!!!  Whoa!! 

 

   

June Check In

I have been absent from blogging, but for good reasons.  Life is just that busy right now.  Here's what's happening in my world.

• Mirranda is currently enrolled in driving school.  She's officially permitted with the State of Washington and everything.  Class runs through June 28th.  We'll be happy when it's done because it's meant a lot of separate commuting (which means more gas expenditures), Shawn working 5AM-2PM, me working 8AM-5PM and just generally a little more chaos than usual.  She's doing very well though and learning quite rapidly.  Still is scary to put your 15 1/2 year old behind the wheel of your car though.
• Sam had some pretty big scrapes with bad grades the 2nd half of her 7th grade year.  Looks like the math grade will barely be passing.  Still not sure what she will do with PE yet though.  Darn kid is too social and not focused enough and it's wreaked havoc on the grades.  She's extremely capabale of all A's and B's, but is still fighting it because she doesn't want to look too smart for her friends.  Uugh!
• The girls are out of school for the summer on June 18th.  We thankfully made it through the school year with no make up days (especially since they started late in Sept because of the strike). 
• Per our usual summer plans, we have 3 camping trips planned for June, July & August.  One trip Shawn and I get to take on our own which will be fun.  We're looking forward to the quiet time together without kids.  We're stocked up on books & purchased 2 zero gravity outdoor chairs just to be that much more comfy. 
• No wine trips planned this year though.  :(
• Work has been crazy busy.  There's so much going on these days.  Shawn and I both have Directors who are moving around to new departments within Accounting.  As a matter of fact Shawn is getting my old director, Jason.  Of course, he's worked for Jason in the past.  He's looking forward to the switch.  Our new director, Brad, is my old manager from the department I was in before I came to my current department (you got all that).  ;)  He's been sitting with everyone training. We've had other things come up too.  It seems like we're always trying to do it bigger, better, faster.  Such is the cost of progress.  I have a couple projects that have been in the works for the better part of a year that are close to completion.  Thank goodness!!   Oh, and inventory is coming up in about 5-6 weeks. 
• Shawn's been working non-stop spiffing up the yard (whenever the weather is good, that is).  The pool isn't cleaned out yet, but then again, the weather hasn't been condusive to swimming anyhow.  I've been working on bits & pieces of the house.  We want to start doing some painting towards the end of the summer. Plus plenty of other projects on vehicles (we look like a darn car lot with the addition of the 93' Toyota 4-runner that Mirranda will be driving).
• Shawn & I celebrated 8 years of "togetherness" in May.  We hit 5 years of blissful marriage in March.  My how time flies.
• Mirranda will be 16 in October.  Nuff said!  Yikes!  Oh, and she got her nose pierced (yes, with our blessing).
• Sam will be 14 in October.  Holy cow!
• Mirranda has a boyfriend named Compton who Shawn and I get to meet either Father's Day weekend or two weeks later when she is over at our house in late June.  He sounds like a really good kid (a redneck just like Shawn), smart with the grades and a pretty darn good influence on Ms. Mirranda.  I've forgotten how embarrassing it inititally can be talking to your parents about the boys you like when you are in high school.  She was initially uncomfortable, but has been coming out of her shell more and more over the last few weeks.  I actually have loved having her a lot more while she's in driving school. She's realizing that we are nothing like the picture mom has painted for her in the past and she has been more comfortable sharing things with us that she wouldn't share with mom.   We really just shake our heads these days as both girls treat Christy like crap.  But, she's made her bed and now she can lay it in. 
• Mirranda & I were shopping at Sephora a couple weeks ago.  For the first time ever, when the sales lady referred to me as Mirranda's mom, Mirranda didn't correct her, but rather smiled and agreed with what the lady was saying.  In the past, Mirranda would always correct them about our relationship.  We were trying on some lip glosses and I can't remember what was said, but it was something along the lines of "your mom has the right idea".  Mirranda chuckled and said whole heartedly, "yep, my mom does have the right idea".  I was elated.  She still calls me Colleen, but I've noticed she's started referring to me as her step mom more and using mom more in conversation than she ever has in the past.  Well, it took 8 years, but we're finally getting there.  ;)  Not that she's ever been snotty to me or anything....she never has been.  It just too her a long time to warm up to me (she was always a Daddys girl) and even after she warmed to me she always still was very clear about who her bio mom was and who wasn't when it came to certain things.  I feel our relationship over the last year has become much more mother/daughter in nature where as before it was more stp mother/daughter.  For example, this year, Mirranda was very concerned that I receive flowers for Mother's Day.  In the past she always made sure to call me and wish me a happy mother's day, but it was very different this year.  I can't explain it, but there was so much more meaning behind it, if that makes any sense what so ever.  It made me feel so loved....I cried.  The girls were in Hawaii over Mothers Day weekend this year (but Shawn spoiled me rotten all weekend).  Still it was tough not seeing them at all.  That Saturday, the UPS man dropped off a box of the most beautiful lillies.  I'll have to post a picture....they were that gorgeous!  Shawn told me that Mirranda had worked with Christy to arrange the sending of the flowers because she hadn't asked him to do anything at all).  Of course, it was labeled from both of the girls, but he had the back story from Mirranda.  Anyhow, that is just one of many stories that demonstrate how our relationship has taken a very positive turn. 

There's probably much, much more to tell, but that's all I can think of for now.  Happy June!!