If someone had told me that October of 2009 would be a month of loss for me, I would have just scoffed. First Aunt June passed away (at least she was 74 and had lived a very full life). Now Mike (only 36 and life definitely not fully lived). People around me do not die. Granted I've had a few friends at work over the years who have lost a parent. I lost my grandmother when I was 19. Other than that though, I really have been very fortunate in the loss area and I am thankful for that because it really is rather hell on Earth.
Last Friday night (10/30) I came home and jumped on ye ole Facebook to do a little farming. A update from Bobbie caught my attention about Afghanistan and resting in peace Mike Montgomery. I swear, I can't even begin to describe the feeling that came over me. First it was that of disbelief....that there was no way it was the same Mike. But there was that niggling fear in the back of my head and the hurt that started in my chest preparing me for the fact that it probably was him. I called and left her a message, but in the meantime, I got on line and started googling. I had my definitive answer in about 5 minutes when I found his death announcement from the Department of Defense and there he was in colorful glory. I swear he had not changed a bit....no aging what so ever. Life must have been good to him up until Monday, October 26th when the helicopter he was flying in, crashed in Afghanistan.
I had been back in contact with Mike and his wife, Anita, about 4 months ago. Anita has the presence on Facebook, but it was both of them. They friended me after finding me out there in cyber space and I was so excited. I hadn't seen either of them in ages. I'd only heard through friends of friends how well he had done in the military and had achieved his ultimate goal of becoming a Chief Warrant Officer. He'd attained level 4 (the highest you can achieve) which was outstanding. As long as I had known Mike, he had always wanted to fly helicopters. He wanted to be in the military. I knew when he joined, he would be career. I sent him off to boot camp way back when. Back in the good ole days.
Mike and I dated for a little over for a year. We went to high school together for 3 years, but didn't meet until the day of graduation. They seated us next to one another at graduation. During the practice, he cracked jokes incessantly and I laughed so hard. He always made me laugh. Mike had a nack for that. That day I decided I would call and ask him out. When I called he said yes and we went out on a date....followed by more dates. He was the first very serious boyfriend of a like age I had ever had. I loved him so much that I knew he was going to be the first guy to break my heart. I had broken my fair share of hearts at that point so I knew my turn was coming. And he did, but at the same time it was a very amiable break up.
When I was dating Jeremy a few years later, Mike started dating Anita and we saw them often before he was off to school, etc. Eventually I lost contact with him, but thought of him often. I often had found myself in the years since reflecting on him and wondering how he was, was he still with Anita, what he was doing. My thoughts were answered on FB which was so cool. I was looking forward to seeing them sometime in the future. I found out about where they had been and that they had a beautiful son named Riley and a black lab named Fletch. Okay, the black lab just cracked me up because he'd always wanted a lab and Fletch was his all time favorite movie. I got to catch up and it was beautiful.
The amount of folks I know in the military, I can count on one hand. You always imagine you will never know one of those faces that show up in the paper and on the news because you just don't know enough of them and what are the odds? Friday night, I cried like a baby. Imagine trying to explain that to your hubby. We haven't talked about ex boyfriends/friends from 15+ years ago because our relationship is so much more recent. There's never been a reason to until now. I managed to explain who he was and what he meant to me. I wish Shawn could have met him. I think they would have liked one another and could have been good friends. They were both so similar in personality and humor, values and beliefs. I talked to Bobbie. I called my dad to let him know. I spent a lot of the evening just stunned. I couldn't wrap my brain around it and I knew that I needed to contact Anita. The only actual contact info for her I had was her e-mail so on a whim I shot off an e-mail to her. We hadn't got that far yet to exchange phone #'s or addresses. She responded Saturday morning confirming what I thought. That they would be bringing him back to Washington. She also confided some heart rending things. Of all the things that made me heart broken....I was heart broken for her. Yes, I was sad for me because I would never see him again. However, I am truly and absolutely sad for Anita and Riley and I think more than anything, that is why I cried so hard (and consequently have caught myself crying now and again since then). Anita lost her husband, her beloved, her best friend, her companion and her soul mate. He will not be there to grow old with her. She will never get to see a day when he's retired military and they get to settle somewhere and make it a home. Riley lost his daddy, his friend. I weep for Mike. Riley started kindergarten this year. He was over in Afghanistan before Riley started school. He never got to see his son's first day of school. He'll never see his 16th b-day (or any others for that matter). He'll never see Riley's first date with a girl. He'll never see Riley graduate, get married, have his grandchildren. Riley's future wife will only know that Riley's dad was killed in Afghanistan all those years ago.
It's surreal to me still. I'm sure Saturday it will be a lot more real to me. I believe Anita is planning to come back to Washington. I hope so. I offer her whatever friendship and support I can. And Mary too (Mike's mom). They will need all the emotional support they can get.
Mike, I salute you. You died doing what you loved and what you believed in. You died protecting all our freedoms and keeping America safe. God bless you Mike Montgomery!! You are loved and you will be missed more than you could ever know.
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