Change Is Expected, But Never Fun

And in this chapter there comes some.....adjustments....

Well, I've talked about Mirranda briefly and now I must talk about Sam.  Oh where, oh where do I begin.  We've officially deemed Sam our "hell child".  Suffice it to say that mom (yes, me) stumbled across some messages in her my space account on Friday night that had some very questionable language and some indications of behavior that is not appropriate at the age of 13.  And it's a really long story how I managed to log into her my space account (suffice it to say, iPod touches are marvelous things).    The behavior is more sexual in nature.  No, not the actual deed.  Just eluding to some touchy/feely stuff (uugh, I can't even come right out and talk about it in my blog because it gets me riled up) by a boy she was having a conversation with in her my space messages back in February.  Hmmm....February.....right around the time her grades dramatically dropped the first time.  I was extremely shocked and very upset.  Shawn and I discussed and needless to say we will be having a discussion with her the next time we see her which isn't until next Friday.  :(  The last 3 months we have only seen her two weekends out of the month because mom let her play softball (despite the shitty grades which is another post for another time).  Anyhow, we're trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that whatever he was eluding to was a joke or didn't happen however, these darn kids are so much more active at a younger age, it does make you wonder and worry. 

We never had to worry about this with Mirranda.  I know I've said this before, but I mean it when I say that Sammy is my drama queen. 

Mirranda and I were discussing this very fact yesterday.  When I pointed out that was perhaps what drove Mirranda nuts the most about her sister, you could see the dawning recognition blink on for her.  Mirranda doesn't have a lot of girlfriends because she cannot stand the drama.  Mirranda is not a dramatic girl...she doesn't need it nor thrives on it.  This is why most girls end up hating her and is why most of her friends are guys.  Waaaaay less drama!  I know Mirranda loves her sister, but Sam does some pretty stupid shit because she just does not stop to think before she speaks or acts and this pisses Mirranda off.  Mostly because when she tries to help Sam and make her aware of it, Sam verbally attacks her.  Mirranda is sick of her shit and just cannot stand her sister at this point in time. 

Sam thrives on drama!  She is the type of girl who, if she doesn't have any drama happening right at the moment, she will literally create it.  Uugh!!  This is the worst personality trait imaginable, if you ask me.  All her little friends are constantly in and out of friendship because of the drama.  And to make matters worse, there is cat fighting, name calling, labeling.....shit, you name it, she's been through it during her 7th grade year.  She had some choice words in a message to one of her girlfriends regarding how this individual wronged her at school.  It was quite lethal from a verbal stand point.  Yikes.....wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that.  And the little girl fought back telling Sam she was a frigged bitch and bipolar.  Um hello.....your fricking 13 year olds!!!  WTF?!  I wasn't like this at 13.

Anyhow, suffice to say, we have our work cut out for us.  The one thing Shawn and I have come to realize this weekend is that our youngest daughter is much more grown up than we'd given her credit for.  I think we've always thought of her as the baby and we got a rude awakening that she is no longer the baby.  We have been very concerned about her grades (and just her in general) over the last few months and we are even more so now than before.  We are highly concerned that if she is left with her mother, she is going to be left to run wild like she has been recently.  Christy is more worried about making sure there is harmony in her house than laying down the rules.  And when Sam starts fighting her, she caves and lets her do what she wants in order to keep the peace.  That is the one thing with Sam that Christy just can't afford to do because the damn kid will walk all over her (and pretty much already does).  Upon speaking with Mirranda, it does sound like there are certain friends of Sam's that she isn't allowed to hang with except at school where mom has no control which is good.  The other friends she is allowed to have over and go visit sound more positive, influence wise.  I hate to say it, but my youngest daughter, in all her dramatic ways, is a fricking slut magnet when it comes to her friends.  She somehow manages to become bosom buddies with the slutiest girls in school and I just don't get what it is about that element......it's got to be the drama that draws her to them. 

Shawn has been leaning on her heavily to come to school in our district.  I find myself hoping and praying these days that she decides to do exaclty that.  We'd have better control over what's going on with her and hopefully could lay down some good boundaries which she is currently not getting at moms.  I cannot wait until she is out of softball. 

Anyhow, I do love my baby girl very much which is why I worry about her so!!

    

And so another chapter begins...

My darling eldest daughter has been bitten by the love bug.  She is quite smitten (more so than she lets on, but I have access her myspace page where she has a beautiful call out written directly to him about how she feels about him....yes, the big "L" word is there in plain writing in addition to the other wonderful things she says about him).

His name is Compton and he's going into his Sophomore year like she is.  They've been together about 3 months (I believe they are about to hit 4).  I've even seen a pic she took of them kissing.  It was very touching (after I got passed the initial shock).  ;)  She went to his baseball game today.  We got to meet him and his mom, Ann. 

She's growing up so smart and so strong.  She has her own opinions, she is more impressed by someones personality & character (rather than all the things that are just surface crap), she's a pretty good judge of character and she can no longer be bribed by her mother.  On her my space page, she also talks about her heroes and has pics of her & Shawn, me with her (and Sammy) and then at the bottom there's a pic of her with her sister, her mom & James, her step dad.  Plus there's one of her & Compton.  It shows you what is important to her and that is her family and her boyfriend.  She's a well grounded kid.  She even informed her dad the other day (as he was giving her a modified wait to have sex lecture) that she might even wait until she was married.  I would love that, but I am also a realistic parent.  With her going between homes, it's hard to be on top of the time she is spending away from moms house.  She is smart enough to wait until she is ready (she will not allow herself to be pressured into anything she doesn't want to do), until she is very much in love and she is smart enough to use protection when that day comes.  My little girl is growing up!!!  Whoa!! 

 

   

June Check In

I have been absent from blogging, but for good reasons.  Life is just that busy right now.  Here's what's happening in my world.

• Mirranda is currently enrolled in driving school.  She's officially permitted with the State of Washington and everything.  Class runs through June 28th.  We'll be happy when it's done because it's meant a lot of separate commuting (which means more gas expenditures), Shawn working 5AM-2PM, me working 8AM-5PM and just generally a little more chaos than usual.  She's doing very well though and learning quite rapidly.  Still is scary to put your 15 1/2 year old behind the wheel of your car though.
• Sam had some pretty big scrapes with bad grades the 2nd half of her 7th grade year.  Looks like the math grade will barely be passing.  Still not sure what she will do with PE yet though.  Darn kid is too social and not focused enough and it's wreaked havoc on the grades.  She's extremely capabale of all A's and B's, but is still fighting it because she doesn't want to look too smart for her friends.  Uugh!
• The girls are out of school for the summer on June 18th.  We thankfully made it through the school year with no make up days (especially since they started late in Sept because of the strike). 
• Per our usual summer plans, we have 3 camping trips planned for June, July & August.  One trip Shawn and I get to take on our own which will be fun.  We're looking forward to the quiet time together without kids.  We're stocked up on books & purchased 2 zero gravity outdoor chairs just to be that much more comfy. 
• No wine trips planned this year though.  :(
• Work has been crazy busy.  There's so much going on these days.  Shawn and I both have Directors who are moving around to new departments within Accounting.  As a matter of fact Shawn is getting my old director, Jason.  Of course, he's worked for Jason in the past.  He's looking forward to the switch.  Our new director, Brad, is my old manager from the department I was in before I came to my current department (you got all that).  ;)  He's been sitting with everyone training. We've had other things come up too.  It seems like we're always trying to do it bigger, better, faster.  Such is the cost of progress.  I have a couple projects that have been in the works for the better part of a year that are close to completion.  Thank goodness!!   Oh, and inventory is coming up in about 5-6 weeks. 
• Shawn's been working non-stop spiffing up the yard (whenever the weather is good, that is).  The pool isn't cleaned out yet, but then again, the weather hasn't been condusive to swimming anyhow.  I've been working on bits & pieces of the house.  We want to start doing some painting towards the end of the summer. Plus plenty of other projects on vehicles (we look like a darn car lot with the addition of the 93' Toyota 4-runner that Mirranda will be driving).
• Shawn & I celebrated 8 years of "togetherness" in May.  We hit 5 years of blissful marriage in March.  My how time flies.
• Mirranda will be 16 in October.  Nuff said!  Yikes!  Oh, and she got her nose pierced (yes, with our blessing).
• Sam will be 14 in October.  Holy cow!
• Mirranda has a boyfriend named Compton who Shawn and I get to meet either Father's Day weekend or two weeks later when she is over at our house in late June.  He sounds like a really good kid (a redneck just like Shawn), smart with the grades and a pretty darn good influence on Ms. Mirranda.  I've forgotten how embarrassing it inititally can be talking to your parents about the boys you like when you are in high school.  She was initially uncomfortable, but has been coming out of her shell more and more over the last few weeks.  I actually have loved having her a lot more while she's in driving school. She's realizing that we are nothing like the picture mom has painted for her in the past and she has been more comfortable sharing things with us that she wouldn't share with mom.   We really just shake our heads these days as both girls treat Christy like crap.  But, she's made her bed and now she can lay it in. 
• Mirranda & I were shopping at Sephora a couple weeks ago.  For the first time ever, when the sales lady referred to me as Mirranda's mom, Mirranda didn't correct her, but rather smiled and agreed with what the lady was saying.  In the past, Mirranda would always correct them about our relationship.  We were trying on some lip glosses and I can't remember what was said, but it was something along the lines of "your mom has the right idea".  Mirranda chuckled and said whole heartedly, "yep, my mom does have the right idea".  I was elated.  She still calls me Colleen, but I've noticed she's started referring to me as her step mom more and using mom more in conversation than she ever has in the past.  Well, it took 8 years, but we're finally getting there.  ;)  Not that she's ever been snotty to me or anything....she never has been.  It just too her a long time to warm up to me (she was always a Daddys girl) and even after she warmed to me she always still was very clear about who her bio mom was and who wasn't when it came to certain things.  I feel our relationship over the last year has become much more mother/daughter in nature where as before it was more stp mother/daughter.  For example, this year, Mirranda was very concerned that I receive flowers for Mother's Day.  In the past she always made sure to call me and wish me a happy mother's day, but it was very different this year.  I can't explain it, but there was so much more meaning behind it, if that makes any sense what so ever.  It made me feel so loved....I cried.  The girls were in Hawaii over Mothers Day weekend this year (but Shawn spoiled me rotten all weekend).  Still it was tough not seeing them at all.  That Saturday, the UPS man dropped off a box of the most beautiful lillies.  I'll have to post a picture....they were that gorgeous!  Shawn told me that Mirranda had worked with Christy to arrange the sending of the flowers because she hadn't asked him to do anything at all).  Of course, it was labeled from both of the girls, but he had the back story from Mirranda.  Anyhow, that is just one of many stories that demonstrate how our relationship has taken a very positive turn. 

There's probably much, much more to tell, but that's all I can think of for now.  Happy June!!

Make Up Whore-iffic

I have become quite the make up whore as of late.  It all started innocently back in February (amidst all the neck/shoulder chaos) when I needed to find a new line of facial cleansers/moisturizers.  I got started with Bare Escentuals new line and it took off from there.  I slowly began the proverbial morphosis that has led me to where I am today....an absolute BE make up whore/junkie.  I lurk on Ebay and opine over the new colors I simply must have.  I ponder how old said colors are that that the pimps of Ebay are trying to lure me in with versus how much it would simply cost to buy it at the local boutique or online.  I've even found myself frequently QVC.com for the latest offerings (that are only available there, I might add).  Although, I draw the line at actually watching the QVC presentations.  There is a huge following out there from Delphi forums to Facebook.  It's quite unreal because so many have the same addiction.  Aacck!! 

Okay, all kidding aside, their eye make up is way better for me and I've been using their foundation for the last 5 years.  I've noticed I am very sensitive to what I put on my eyes and face...even more so than usual, so the switch was only natural and I have to admit, I've never looked or felt better!

Tantrum

I threw a tantrum last night because I could not find the one and only wall plug charger we own to charge my iPod Shuffle.  Okay, the tantrum wasn't really because of that....it was just the straw that broke the camels back.  I fight constantly to get the girls to put it back in the community basket downstairs.  They lost the one they were sharing.  I have been letting them use mine.  I get miffed when I cannot find it easily.  Yes, I still have only child syndrome when it comes to sharing "my stuff".  I don't know if I'll ever get over that.  ;) 

I normally throw a major tantrum only when I am by myself because my tantrums consist of throwing a few objects (those that won't break like pens, pencils, paper, pillows, etc) and screaming (I mean it....screaming) which in turn diffuses me and I finally vent out that which has been aggravating me rather than contiuing to hold it inside.  This only happens maybe 3-4 times in a year....usually when I don't realize I'm holding it in until it builds and I need to release it.  Because I don't know what caused it.....I release ALL of it at the same time.  Usually I can work through any issue and let it go well before I get to that stage. 

I threw my tantrum last night whilst Shawn was home.  The week had begun very rough....Monday & Tuesday at work were crazy.  I took it all in and remained calm....almost too calm (I think I internalized most of it).  I spent a couple nights staying up too late.  By yesterday I was overly tired (and I get down right bitchy & nasty when I am overly tired) and fiesty.  This was not a good combination.

Enter missing wall charger here and tantrum ensues. 

I gave Shawn ample warning.  I did not yell at him (it wasn't his fault).  Because of my warning he kept quiet.  Today he shared he just about died laughing. I figured he probably did. 

I announced I was about to lose it.  Suddenly my grocery list went flying off the counter.  Paper flew everywhere.  I screamed at the top of my lungs and stormed upstairs.  Top of the stairs, I stomped my feet hard.  Once in my bedroom, I screamed again (not so loudly this time).  I headed back downstairs, outside to the front porch where I plopped on a bench and sat for a loooooong while.  [Shawn thought I took a walk to cool off.....which would have been a logical choice, if I'd had the energy.]

More in control, I returned in doors and crashed on the living room couch for about 30 minutes of hard core sleep.

I awoke refreshed, in control once again and down right embarrassed.  I have NEVER done this in front of Shawn before.  Yes, I've slammed doors and drawers when I was pissed about something, but I haven't thrown things to that extent and screamed like a psycho. 

I returned to the family room and we went on with our evening.  I got up to eat and we talked.  I brought it up in jest and he started laughing.  He shared his initial thought was "my wife's a psycho", but that he still loved "his psycho".  Then it was "let it out, girl".  It was only today he told me about laughing.  I shared that my last stomping of feet was because I was imagining that he was down in the family room laughing at my temper tantrum.  I mean, come on, how old am I?  I would have been laughing too.

However, sometimes we need a release.  Granted, I probably would have found a more constructive way to release it if I hadn't been so tired.  At least, it's over and done with and my husband knows I'm human.  That and he now knows, I'm definitely not keeping anything in anymore unlike last year.  Although, he did mention not to do that at work.  Duh!  :)

Tired

I had a 4 day weekend last week because of Easter, but still find myself absolutely tired out after a week back in the office.  What is it these days that makes one feel that they just have to keep going and going and going like the Energizer Bunny?  Well, I at least try to keep going and going and going, however I do have to get my down time in.  I'm struggling with fitting in "me" time right now.  Now, this is not a new struggle, but I recognize the value so I am working on getting it in no matter what.  This is often times can be to the detriment of something else I "should" have done.  And then I, of course, beat myself up for not getting the "chores" done.  Yes, sometimes, not ALL the cleaning gets done in the same weekend.....not all the filing in the den gets done (or at all)...or the list of a myriad other projects that I would like to do, but just haven't gotten around to yet, gets put aside.  There's plenty to be done, but just not enough time in my schedule to fit it all in.  I could devote myself dutifully to my personally created honey do list, but honestly, I know the value of my own time and am trying to give it to myself.  Not so easily justified though when I screw around on the computer or watch the boob tube for too long.  Hmmm.....not really considered me time, but not really considered quality usage towards projects either.  Aack!!!

Senor Poopy Pants

El Husbando is in a decrepit and antagonistic mood today.  Largely due to a rough day yesterday, lack of sleep and it's Friday (which means he has a few days worth of lack o' sleep under his belt). 

I would love to be able to say that I simply love it when he's in one of "his moods" however, I would be lying through my teeth.  My dearest is a very skilled button pusher when he's in a good mood.  He becomes a more highly developed button pusher when he's in one of these moods.

This morining I thankfully identified he was in said mood early and therefore was able to keep myself in check before he was able to get too many pushes in (thank goodness).  I ended lunch early today because he was being a butt face.  I know, such a childish term of endearment, but there it is.  More than likely I will spend the rest of my day not letting him bait me into meaningless arguments with him and remind myself that it's him, not me (and that he doesn't mean most of what he is saying because he really is just trying to get my goat).  ;)  Uugh!!!

Tonight I will head to Dr Dan for a little chiropractic adjustment and then I will come home and avoid him like the plague until he gets a little shut eye and awakens in a better mood tomorrow morning. 

Ah, the joys and pleasures of being married!

You Know You're Getting Older (or More Mature?) When...

• you get excited about replacing your 50 gallon water heater with a fancy electronically controlled 80 gallon unit.  Cost....$600.....having hot water after 3 members of your family have already showered....priceless!
• you have to finally make a decision about enrolling your daughter in driving school because she'll be 15 and a half next month.  Crap!!  That day that you kept telling yourself would happen sometime in the future...well, it's finally here. 
• you get even more excited about scheduling someone to come in and clean out your furnace, duct work and carpets!
• you get extremely excited about cleaning out the laundry closet because it's just too grotty for words!
• you start complaining incessantly if you aren't in bed by 9 on a weeknight.  God forbid you don't get their by 10 and then the shit really hits the fan.
• you get very emotional over what colors are actually going on your wall in the living, family and dining room.
• you wake up in the morning and gauge what kind of day it will be based on your minor aches and pains.
• you eldest starts swearing (only minutely) and you are okay with it (with the exception of the f-bomb).  I figure there are worse things in life.  If the ocassional "oh shit" happens to pass her lips....BFD!  She's not having sex, she doesn't dress like a whore, she's very respectful, she surrounds herself with fairly nice friends, she's extremely picky about boys and has every intention of not getting pregnant until she is married....she's doing awesome in my book compared to other parental horror stories I have heard as of late.
• you finally get it ingrained in your head that for every action there is an equal & opposite reaction.  Of course, you knew this since they taught you in grade school, but for some reason it took 30 years for it to really sink in. 
• you finally figure out (even though you've known it for awhile) that you need to get your act together, change your lifestyle and start eating what you know you should eat and exercising consistently.  Sure fire way to get rid of the adult acne and to lose weight!  Holistic approach versus throwing tons of money away on fabulous skin concoctions.  Both my rents are pre-diabetic (type 2) and insulin resistant.  It's due to lifestyle.  I will not be 60 and still fighting the battle of the bulge, damn it!

Well, my list isn't as long as I thought it would be.  I'm sure I'll have more to add later.  :) 

Klip Klop Klip Klop

And so goes life klip klopping it's way down the street.  These days time flies so quickly that I suddenly look at the calendar and a whole month has flown by.  I find myself asking "where has the time gone" frequently.  Dad says that's just a natural part of getting older.  Still makes me shake my head though.

It's been a month since my last blog.  And I thought I was doing so well writing about life.  ;)  Seriously, things just have been flying and I haven't taken the time to do it.  When I last blogged, work was about to get a little hectic as we got to the end of inventory.  It did and I pushed through it, but it basically took me till last week to smooth things back out after the waters got a bit choppy.  Inventory is over (hooray) and I am now just trying to get back on track.

Shawn and I have been on Isagenix together for the last 5 weeks.  He's lost about 15 lbs (and a pants & shirt size) and I'm down about 7 lbs.  Hhhhmmmmmm.....yep, that seems to be par for the course.  The men just lose it faster without all the work or the work outs.  Pppffffttt!!  Darn men and those metabolisms anyhow.  I haven't quite gotten back into my normal fitness regimen so I'm struggling a bit.  What else is new though.  I'll work with it and roll on through.  Day light savings kicks in this coming weekend which will give me some more daylight and the ability to get out with George in the evenings when I won't fear being run over by a passing car.  Shoulder is actually acting up a bit.  I'm due to see the Dr Dan (the chiropractor) tonight though so that should help.  Work kept me away from him for two whole weeks and I think I can go about every other week right now. 

The Work That Was

It's amazing how when you manage to learn how to manage your work stress (hee hee), you stop orating about it into the stratosphere.  I haven't had to blog about work in such a long time.  And I'm 3 weeks into inventory, no less.  Today, I'm here and it's incredibly intertaining so I thought..."eh, why not". 

I am alone in my cube and have been that way since Wednesday afternoon.  It's quite nice although I do miss the boys when they are gone because they do make work interesting and fun.  The majority of our department (24 analysts, 7 management) are out on either inventory, having a flex day or vacation.  I am the solitary supervisor here which always seems to be how it goes.  I do have Chris and Jason here (manager and director respectively) and therefore have some good support in case big things go kerblewy!  Our blow up items today have been 1)  a very important general ledger account no posting (nobody knows why, ahem) which is very integral to inventory (good thing we found out a couple weeks before we try to finalize the process) and 2) 13 locations back east which are in the massive snow zone (see accuweather.com for the latest) will not be performing their physical inventory this weekend which creates a massive plethora of issues for us.  Lots and lots of manual work.  I have not spazzed, freaked, cried or fainted since this began on Wednesday afternoon.  Despite the fact that are IS dept is run by some massive morons and the higher level management over these warehouses really are rather irritating.  Jason has been fielding most phone calls today.  I actually chatted with one location yesterday who was trying to trouble shoot.  Poor guy was just trying to get some answers and was getting nowhere with anyone else.  Finally got a hold of my analyst who turned him over to me.  I patiently answered all his questions and he seemed to be in a much better frame of mind (and mood) by the end of our conversation.  But, with the dawning of today, we have found that all locations more than likely are going to get hit hard (as a matter of fact, apparently it is already starting and getting worse as the day goes on).  Can you believe some of these areas will get 1-3 inches of snow an hour, white out conditions, and they may have 2-3 feet on the ground by tomorrow???  Holy hell!!  In some ways I would love it, but in other ways....not so much.  I'm not particularly liking our balmy winter weather, but 2-3 feet of snow right now just sounds kinda icky.

And after all this.....I'm very calm....next week may be a bit hellish, but it's all good.  One day at a time.